I'm a Fatty #4

Hi Mr. Holt!

A week late... I knew I forgot something last week. Last week was hell at work, there was no free time to type something up. By the end of this week I will be 2 months into my diet and as of yesterday i am 40 pounds lighter! I have had some ups and downs, the plateaus have been frustrating the hell out of me. But I need to remember I am not gaining weight, I am lighter and I have made amazing progress. It's still tough when you see so much come off only to get stuck...

Clothes are fitting looser and it feels great, but I still see myself as a fat slob in the mirror.

I started to do sit ups in the morning before work, I used to do push ups back in the day when I was younger, started off with 20 and add 10 each week. I'm on 40 a day now and I will need to see if I need to keep to 40 or push it more. I bought a fitbit to help track my steps. I want to start excising in some form and I know I need to start slow and simple. Training to walk more with the kiddos when I can, but we've been stuck in a heat wave that its hard to justify taking them out in the heat to walk for 30 minutes.

I know all the things I am doing is right and I need to stop weighing myself every day, but its the easiest way to 'judge' success, but its such a kick to the system if I am up or down. This weekend I didn't eat as well as I could have and jumped a few pounds, I felt a little defeated. Down on myself, this morning back down to where i was and I felt great! Emotionally this is going to kill me.

I've been wondering where am I at with my weight? Like, how long ago did I weight this amount? It wan't until yesterday when a friend at work suggested an app that I hadn't used in years to start using again. I don't loaded it again and didn't think much of it, but as I was waiting at the doctors office I realized that I put my weight in there when I was using it. 4 years ago I weighted where I am now. Kind of crazy to think I am at where I was at 4 years ago and it only took 2 months, which is great! Its Amazing and I am proud of that! I just want to continue to see the success of the weight coming off.

I am also working on my portions for lunch, I don't eat breakfast anymore and dinner I eat before 6ish, so I fast from 7pm to 1pm. I can now get through my day on a smaller lunch, shit yesterday I had 3 slices of ham with cream cheese in them. I had reached out to a couple of old friends that I was hoping would help me with exercise tips, helpful pointers but mostly be there to help me be accountable to, I need that! But neither did and it kind of took the 'wind out of my sails' on it. I guess I just asked the wrong people. But I do find it interesting when you message someone on FB, you see they have seen the message and they they make a bunch of posts on FB only NOT to reply to your message....

My leg is doing great, much better and I am done with therapy! It is nice I don't have to worry about it any more. I need to find a way to set some attainable goals, daily and weekly, real goals. But I need a way to put them up to where i am accountable to them. It's been a journey that is for sure and its only the beginning I have a long ways to go...